Sorry It Took Me So Long
by crazygee
Summary: Five times Jemma tried to tell Fitz her growing feelings for him and the one time she successfully did.


**Disclaimer**: I do not own Marvel's Agents of SHIELD.

* * *

><p>"You should talk to him," Jemma hears from behind her. She almost drops the tablet she was holding. "What?"<p>

"You. should. talk. to. him." Skye emphasizes each word as she drops down beside her on the couch. She doesn't even look at her while she types - Jemma chances a look at the screen - code.

"Who?" Jemma pretends to wonder. She's been a pro in trying to deflect and ignore everything Fitz related lately (at least on the outside. Deep inside? In her thoughts? That's a different matter entirely) that pretending to be unaffected is her automatic response.

Skye snorts and keeps on typing, ignoring her failed attempts at nonchalance. Was she so obvious in staring at him from across the room for god knows how long? She forces herself to look away at Fitz and tries to quell this mixture of longing, uneasiness, and hurt brewing ever since the day he told her that it's best if they go their separate ways.

She tries to let the feelings go. Truly. She tries to ignore what Skye said too. Really.

She fails.

"I don't even know what to say to him!" She hisses and hides her blushing face in her hands. She realizes belatedly that her voice was an octave too high and a decibel too loud. She sneaks a glance across the room, wary that Fitz must have heard her outburst.

He didn't.

(She isn't sure if she's relieved or disappointed.)

Skye smirks. "Science. Talk to him about science." Then she shrugs and keeps on typing like the advice she gave isn't terribly difficult.

She huffs. "It's not that easy, Skye!" She bites her lip to keep further complaints at bay and the long list of reasons why things are rather complicated. She can't just go march in there, invade his personal space, and tell him about the article she read in the latest science journal last night and tell him that while she was reading, all she was thinking was _Fitz will like this_ or _I wonder if Fitz has tried this yet_ or _does he know about this_ or _this is the solution that Fitz has been laboring about for years. Fitz. Fitz. Fitz. Fitz._

Skye finally closes the lid on her laptop and faces her fully. "Simmons, you know I love you right?" Skye says this seriously, all the remnants of teasing gone from her face.

She responds sincerely, "Yes. And I, you." She's curious why there's a sudden shift in their conversation.

"Simmons, talk to him because..." Skye takes a deep breath as if bracing herself for what she was about to say next. "Talk to him because life is short."

Just like that, she feels the weight of what Skye told her. They, of all people, know the terrible meaning behind those words. Life is indeed short and they have lost so many friends along the way. One moment you're laughing with someone important to you. The next, they're gone. It seems trite, banal, isn't it? The phrase that life is short? But it's true. Life is fleeting. She has almost died too many times than someone her age should. But she's still alive. And what is she doing with her tenth chance in life?

She immediately looks away from her friend's probing eyes. "You almost lost him once." Skye all but whispers. "Don't... Don't lose him again."

Skye bumps her shoulder with hers. She looks back at her friend and sees tears in her eyes. How Skye's heart can be so resilient and remain hopeful amidst every pain and sorrow, she will never know. Yet, every day she spends with her friend, she aspires to be more like her.

She rests her head on Skye's shoulder and curls up on her side. It's a few minutes before either of them breaks the silence. "I don't know where to start, Skye."

"You should start telling him that there are 34 facial muscles required in kissing and 112 postural-"

"SKYE!"

Finally, they're laughing. Laughing through the tears.

One way or another, they know they'll be okay.

* * *

><p>They grow back together eventually, Fitz and her, but it wasn't because she talked to him about the science of kissing like Skye insisted. It was in fact Coulson who brought them together, assigning them both a mission, that turned into two, three, and then she couldn't keep count anymore.<p>

They complete each other's sentences like before, her inputs making him smile, his additions making her admire him all the more. He doesn't stutter around her that much, nor avoid her whenever she's around. They seek each other out, gravitating towards each other naturally, both professionals who could work together in the same room, inspiring one another to be better. There were no more awkward silences, and unfinished sentences, and pitying looks and bitter smiles. They became lab partners again working seamlessly and she thought for a good while, that it was everything she wanted, until she realized that it's not.

Everything was okay on the surface. Even the team starts to call them as FitzSimmons again. It makes them both smile. But deep down, she's a confused tangle of loneliness, hurt, fear, nostalgia, and worry.

Why? Because she still misses him.

She misses him even when he's right there in front of her.

How can he be near and yet so far at the same time?

* * *

><p>Days pass and things are the same. They work alongside each other as partners. Some might say it's just like old times. But it wasn't.<p>

Her eyes follow him whenever he's around too. She doesn't notice doing it until Skye points it out to her one day.

(She tries to stop being so obvious. Keyword is try.)

* * *

><p>Today, she wants to run his fingers over his curls.<p>

(Because they're getting too long, she reasons.)

* * *

><p>She likes the color blue on him, she muses. It brings out his eyes.<p>

Have they always been that bright?

(It's probably just the lighting, she thinks.)

* * *

><p>He's clean shaven again.<p>

(She kind of misses the stubble. She thinks she prefers it. It makes him look a little older.

She tells Skye about it one night.

Two days later, bearded Fitz is back.

"Traitor." She accuses Skye.

"You're welcome," Skye sing songs.)

* * *

><p>Fitz keeps on talking about something. She tunes him out because she's distracted by one offending button on his shirt. It's just one button but it has been driving her mad ever since he went into the laboratory this morning with one unbuttoned... button.<p>

It takes her 8 minutes until she gives up and fixes it for him. "Jemma, what?" He says as she determinedly fixes his shirt.

"There," she says as she pats her palm over his chest a few times.

Too many times.

She pretends to not notice the blush on his face because she's pretty sure, hers are just the same.

(She started touching him more after that. He blushes every time. So does she.)

* * *

><p>He brings her tea regularly now.<p>

(She pretends that it's not a big deal.

It is.

Skye notices and teases them about it.

"Hey, where's mine?" Skye yells when she's in the lab with them.

Fitz yells back "You're not British.")

* * *

><p>She finds him alone in the lounge area watching television one particular sleepless night.<p>

She doesn't plan on staying up until she hears his invitation for her to stay.

So she does.

(It somewhat becomes tradition for them. One episode before bed. Every night.)

* * *

><p>They eat lunch together.<p>

Sit at the same table.

It's just like old times.

(Except it's not. She doesn't remember having butterflies in her stomach every time their elbows knock together.)

* * *

><p>He starts wearing ties again.<p>

She can tell by the creases that he did it himself.

She's tempted to fix it for him.

She doesn't.

(It takes her two weeks until she does. He doesn't complain.)

* * *

><p>He invades her personal space now. In the laboratory, on the couch, in the kitchen, in the lounge, in the Bus. Everywhere, really.<p>

(She pretends that it doesn't make her stomach twist in nervous excitement whenever he's nearby.

Skye notices, of course she does. She doesn't say anything about it this time.

She wonders why.)

They talk about their parents. They both miss their families.

They ask for a leave.

Coulson says no, but soon, he promises.

They both know it probably means never.

They're strangely okay with it as long as they have each other.

And the team.

(But they make plans about coming home either way. They're bringing Skye along. Of course.)

* * *

><p>"Do you love him?" Skye asks out of the blue.<p>

"What?" She doesn't feign ignorance this time around. She really doesn't understand the question.

"Fitz. Do you love him?"

She's baffled. "Of course I do Skye! He's my best friend." She's a little bit insulted and she's sure that Skye could sense it in her tone.

Skye licks her lips and adds, "nothing more?"

It shuts her up.

"Can you see him with anyone else?"

She doesn't answer.

Skye sighs and then leaves her to her thoughts.

* * *

><p>She dreams about him with a faceless woman that night.<p>

It was a nightmare.

* * *

><p>Skye notices the bags under her eyes after a week. She tells her friend that it's her damn fault.<p>

Skye just smirks but later says "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not." She accuses.

"Not really, no."

"Jerk."

Skye laughs, hugs her, and whispers in her ear "tell him, Simmons."

She sighs.

She can do this.

* * *

><p>Turns out, she can't.<p>

Why? She isn't even sure if he feels the same a year later. Not to mention that the thought that he has moved on scares her too. For all her bravery in jumping off planes and hugging grenades to save her friends and infiltrating enemy territory for weeks on end, she can't even approach her best friend and tell him how she really feels.

God, she's a coward.

("You're not", Skye adamantly says.

She doesn't believe her friend. Not one bit.

She wants to, though.

She wants to believe that she can.

She wants to believe that she has the courage to tell him that she wants more.

Because he's more than just a best friend too.)

* * *

><p>It takes her six tries to tell him.<p>

The first is during one of their late night excursions, which is basically them marathoning a tv show together, while munching on Chinese takeouts. She is mesmerized by the way his long and slender fingers are holding his chopsticks, imagines his dexterous fingers on her, in her, and she loses her nerve entirely because he's suddenly asking her if she's alright.

_Traitor_, she accuses her own body.

She takes a deep breath and squeaks "Everything is fine and randy, dandy. Everything is fine!"

"O-kay. If you say so." He shakes his head and offers her a glass of water.

"Yes, cold water. Exactly what I need. Thank you." She says perfunctory and plans on telling him next time.

* * *

><p>The second time is when Skye locked them inside a room together.<p>

It was messy.

Because they didn't know that they were still both suffering from PTSD and being cramped in tight spaces is a trigger for both of them.

Her confession all but died in her lips the moment the panic attack starts to creep in.

Skye apologizes profusely after that. Many many times.

(They both forgive her.

Not without making her life miserable at first. They're not that merciful.)

* * *

><p>Third time is during a mission where they were tasked to retrieve sensitive information from a former classmate during their days in the Academy. Like all missions, something didn't go as planned and next thing they know they are being chased along the streets of London and Skye is yelling "Run, run, run, run!"<p>

Skye orders them to discard their blazers and jackets in the trash and run towards the next block, and wait there.

So they ran.

They finally reach the rendezvous point still gasping for breath. They hear running footsteps seconds later and they turn panicked eyes on each other.

The words are on the tip of her tongue then.

They are both unarmed and they are both unskilled in hand to hand combat.

_This is it._

She opens her mouth to say something but Fitz beats her to it when he suddenly says "I'm so sorry Jemma, please don't hate me."

"Fitz, I don't-

He kisses her.

It takes her two seconds until she kisses him back and everything else to fade into background noise.

She registers the softness of his lips, the warmth of his breath, the roughness of his stubbled jaw, the wide expanse of his shoulders, and the sweetness of his tongue.

Their kiss is messy and uncoordinated, and their teeth knock each other at some point but she doesn't care.

She revels in the moment.

They hear someone coughing and all too soon, he's jumping away from her, his hair sticking up on end, his pupils blown wide, his once impeccably ironed shirt ridden with creases.

The intruder turns out to be Skye.

They both look at her and her arms are crossed, one eyebrow is raised with a smirk on her lips. They both know in that instant that they would never live this down.

(They didn't.)

Back at the base, they're terribly awkward around each other.

It isn't until Skye became too frustrated with them that she marched next to Simmons and kissed her on the lips, with Fitz watching, wide eyed and shocked. Then she went to Fitz and kissed him as well. Short but loud. Very loud.

Fitz wipes his lips after, while yelling "What the hell is wrong with you woman?"

Skye just rolls her eyes and says "Now that the awkward kiss is out of the way, can we all please return to normal?"

Simmons couldn't help but laugh. Soon, Skye and Fitz join her too.

(The dreams haunt her regularly after that. The kind that leave her frustrated upon waking up. Those kind of dreams. Dreams about his lips and tongue. All over her body.

She loves and hates it at the same time. She chooses not to tell Skye, this time around. She knows she'll never hear the end of it.

Skye figures it out anyway.

She never hears the end of it.)

* * *

><p>Fourth time is pretty uneventful compared with the last. He is sharing with her the time when his father left him and his mum (something she actually already knows but she listens to him tell it anyway) when she suddenly had the urge to kiss his sadness away, and wrap her arms around him in comfort. She wants to tell him at that moment that she thinks he's brave, caring, warm, and loving. But she didn't.<p>

(She hugged him anyway.

He hugged her back, just as tightly.)

* * *

><p>Fifth time is when she is sick and cooped up inside her room, Skye perched on the bed beside her. Fitz enters with a tray of cold medicine, soup, and water. They talk about everything and nothing while she dutifully eats and drinks her medicine after. They hang out inside her room as if they aren't SHIELD agents with the weight of the world's safety upon their shoulders. They laugh and bicker like children as if they aren't kids thrust into this world of betrayal and pain and loss and were forced to grow up faster than anyone their age.<p>

Suddenly, she feels overwhelming love for these two people with her, so she tells them at that moment.

"I love you Skye. I love you Fitz." She says this with the biggest grin on her face, cutting off Skye's tirade about Koenig's latest annoying rules.

There is a beat of silence after her confession but she's certain that they both know the weight behind her words.

Skye replies with "I know" earning her a pillow thrown against her face.

Fitz replies with a shy and soft "love you too, Jem" that earns an eye roll from Skye.

She feels warm all over. It could also be the fever, but she doesn't care. She loves them both equally but differently.

Skye rolls her eyes and says "O-kay, love birds, I guess that's my cue to go."

They both protest, Fitz and her, and ask her to stay. So she does.

She ends up falling asleep with the two of them bickering and wakes up with Fitz snoring on the chair beside her and Skye sprawled face down on the bed on her right.

She commits that day to memory.

* * *

><p>The sixth time is when Fitz was assigned to go on a field mission with Skye. The op needed an engineer on the site and he's the only one available.<p>

Her hands are sweating and her heart is racing as she sits on his bed, watching him pack. It's very reminiscent of that time when he went on a mission, alone, with... She ends that thought.

She reaches out and stops his hand from picking up his flashlight. "Please be careful."

There must be something in her voice, or in her eyes, for he twists his palm up and tangles his fingers with hers.

"I'll come back."

She bites her lip and nods. Soon, his bag is ready and they're walking together towards the quinjet.

He stops and faces her.

_It's now or never._

She doesn't give him a sandwich this time. Instead, she rises on her toes and kisses him on the lips.

It surprises him, for she feels and hears his gasp.

Seconds later, she feels his arms bracket her waist and she melts in his touch.

She breaks the kiss and tells him, finally, "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that I'm in love with you."

His responding grin is so wide, she couldn't help but kiss him again.

Not too long after, Skye taps them both on the shoulder and tells them "Hey, nerd birds, we gotta go."

She breaks the kiss and looks at her friend. Skye's grinning too.

She untangles herself from Fitz and bear hugs Skye and tells her to be careful as well.

"Don't worry about me Simmons. I am _shockingly_ awesome."

She just rolls her eyes at her friend.

"I am _quaking_ with excitement, Skye."

Skye snorts and heads straight to the quinjet, with Fitz in tow.

Before he boards, he stops and looks behind him. His eyes lock with hers and he mouths "love you".

She clasps her hands in front of her, and mouths the words back.

* * *

><p>Skye and Fitz return 2 days later, a little banged up, but all in one piece.<p>

Fitz greets her with a hug and a whispered "sorry it took me so long."

She replies with "smart ass" and pinches him on his arm.

He yelps but says "You love it."

She grins. "Yes I do."

Somewhere behind them they could hear Skye scoffing.

"Ugh. Should have known that you two will become unbearable."

"Shut up, Skye." They both said in unison.

Skye rolls her eyes and teases, "Yeah yeah yeah, tell the friend who made all _this_ happen to shut up. Ingrates."

She looks at Fitz and he smiles back at her.

They throw their arms on each of Skye's shoulders and kisses her on the cheek.

"Thanks, Daisy."

"Thanks, flower."

Skye pushes them both away and yells, "UGH, SHUT UP!"

They're laughing now.

It took them a long time, but finally, they're okay.

_Fin._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Reviews, flails, violent reactions, opinions, suggestions, all other -ions are welcome! Please hit me your best and worst shot. I can take it, swear.


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